A Catelyn of Thrones (14.1)

A Catelyn of Thrones (14.1) 

Catelyn Stark: The Lady of Winterfell? OR An Agent of Pure Evil?



Thine modern, technology-accustomed derriere hath thy option to listeneth HERE, where thou art…

If thou hath thine preference to travel metaphorically through thine snapping, crackling stiff ropes of dark magic that hath forged an unholy connection wherein all thine and thine comrades and enemies’ flimsy windows of scrying, thine preference thus shall be thine own business and thou hath thine option to do so HERE…


Further travels within thine dark web that hath ensnared thy simple folk of thine Realm mayeth bringeth thou to thy connections thus and so exposed below…

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Born amidst salt and smoke- Just off the Long Island Expressway- Beneath a bleeding star…

The Promised Princes are The Wardens of Long IslandThe Wardens of Long Island know a whole lot about Westeros and the people that make up the nobility of Westeros. In particular, The Wardens of Long Island– John and SeannieWan– are quite accustomed to the personalities of the Stark family of Winterfell. Of the Stark family, there are a few characters that The Princes That Were PromisedThe Wardens of Long Island, do not care for. Of these characters that John and SeannieWan do not care for, there is one that is a complete and total Jerk. This complete and total Jerk has a name. Her name is Catelyn Stark. One of #TPTWP outright refuses to recognize Lady Catelyn as a Stark and instead identifies her by her maiden name- Catelyn Tully, Jerk Daughter of House Tully.

In A Catelyn of ThronesThe Wardens of Long Island follow Catelyn‘s narrative through A Game of Thrones and expose each decision she makes in the guise of the family’s best interest but in the true interest of Catelyn, while flying the metaphorical flag of Stupidity.

If there was a House Dumb-Idiot of StupieLand, the matriarch would be Catelyn Stark (or Tully, as it were) and the sigil for House Dumb-Idiot would be a crude depiction of the synapses in Catelyn‘s brain lighting up as she takes advantage of a situation to further her personal agenda of escaping from the North and stumbling into her own circle of power in the South.

#TPTWP easily point out each and every selfish, dimwitted decision the Lady of Winterfellmakes while bringing to light the exponential growth of collateral damage and harm to the StarksTullys, noble Houses of the Riverlands, and noble Houses of The North that these selfish, dimwitted decisions bring about.

Is Catelyn Stark more a harbinger of death than Kara Thrace? Does Catelyn spend any time considering the consequences of her actions? Are Catelyn‘s actions those of the young lady that John and SeannieWan discussed in the previous episode? Did Ned ever have a moment of clarity in which he spat upon the stone likeness of his dead father- the man that set up the doomed marriage pact for Ned‘s imbecile older brother and the very same marriage pact that would fall into Ned‘s lap? Is Catelyn Stark worthy of the name Stark? Was House Tully doomed from the moment Lady Catelyn emerged from Minisa Whent‘s birth canal? Was Catelyn plotting her opportunity in A Game of Thrones from the first inhalation she made of the fresh air found in the atmosphere surrounding Riverrun?


For more in-depth and complex answers to these surprisingly simple questions, as well as a whole lot of fun going deep on the biggest antagonist in A Game of Thrones, who is totes presented as a ‘protagonist’ by The American Tolkien Turtle-Man, tho best giveth a listen to this Super-Sized episode.

The artwork for A Catelyn of Thrones is titled Lady Catelyn Stark. It was created by Minor Technicality. More of their detailed and intriguing work can be found right the F HERE.

The Princes That Were Promised are John and SeannieWan. Every week they tear apart Westeros and sift through the pieces to bring their Leal and Loyal Subjects the history of the Realm and The Known World from both George R. R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire and HBO’s adaptation, Game of Thrones.

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