Hear ye, ye poor pathetic bastards as thine wait hath just begun for any new content regarding Westeros in any medium whatsoever…
What shall be birthed first- The Winds of Winter, being the 6th and penultimate volume of George R. R. Martin’s epic fantasy saga A Song of Ice and Fire; Game of Thrones Season 8, being the final six episodes of the sprawling and high-concept fantasy television series based on George R. R. Martin’s not-anywhere-near finished A Song of Ice and Fire; or Fire and Blood (working title), being a massive G.R.R.M. info dump of fictitious fact and equally fictitious history not used in The World of Ice and Fire focusing on House Targaryen from their origins in Valyria to their conquest of Westeros and down the line of Targaryen Kings both great and horrible?
The smart money and the Royal coin will bet on the Final Episodes of Game of Thrones airing long before the two literary projects see the light of day. Although it is painfully obvious that the Final six Episodes won’t air until 2019, at least there is a deadline for release, talented producers and performers working hard on completing the last leg of episodes, and absolutely no need for George R. R. Martin’s input. The best thing the Final Season of GoT has going for it is NOT having the name George R. R. Martin attached to the production on any level other than source material it has long moved on from.
Regardless of which property is gifted to an increasingly hungry fandom first, it is looking like 2018 will be a year with no content from Westeros… except for the calendar depicting scenes from ASoIaF created by top-notch fantasy illustrators and artists. There is always a strong possibility that we get a short fake history of Westeros lesson crammed into a Gardner Dozois anthology book but nothing is on the horizon as of the end of 2017.
Now thine eyeballs shall readeth thy Royal Words royally communicating a Royal Decree full of News and Interesting Facts of both G.R.R.M.’s ASoIaF and HBO’s GoT…
The biggest bit of news is also the saddest news that Your Promised Princes hath yet reported: Roy Dotrice, the voice that told the stories of ASoIaF in the audio-book releases, has passed on at the age of 94. Mr. Dotrice earned himself a place in the 2004 Guinness Book of World Records for the most character voices performed by one actor when he performed A Game of Thrones for the audiobook. Thine Princes shalt not harp anymore upon Mr. Dotrice’s death and the utter sadness that accompanies it. If thou wisheth to heareth thy Royal thoughts, listeneth to this special Mini-Sode.
Dost thou enjoyeth Ed Shereen? Thou art in luck. Season 7 of HBO’s Game of Thrones is now available for pre-order on Blu-ray and DVD. In addition to a little less than 7 minutes of Ed Shereen singing the Tyrion Lannister-inspired ‘Hands of Gold’ song in full Lannister Man-at-Arms gear, thou shalt get the full 7 episodes making up Season 7. The Ed Shereen Blu-ray and DVD set also include animated featurettes that explain the world that Ed Shereen is singing this song in and the history of it that has led to this moment of glory for Ed Shereen. This release also includes Macy Williams playing her tremendously popular Arya Stark character during Ed Shereen’s scene and listening to his song in character. The Blu-ray and DVD set will be released on December 12th– just in time to make it the perfect holiday gift for the Ed Shereen fan in your life!
Hath thou ever wondered what sort of mental strength and willpower thou have? HBO UK and London’s Prince Charles Cinema are teaming up to truly test the dexterity and self-defense of the human mind. To coincide with the release of Season 7 of Game of Thrones on Blu-ray and DVD, these sick bastards are presenting a marathon of the complete near 70 hours of Game of Thrones episodes with breaks for free pizza. Labeled as a celebration and targeting the poor bastards that have nothing better to do, this experiment will surely find the point at which the human mind breaks and crumbles. May the Seven have mercy upon the souls of those that attempt to watch this epic series in its entirety in one sitting.
HBO hath produced some shitty GoT ‘Halloween’ masks that are painfully awful and have zero chance of being worn as a Halloween costume.
George R. R. Martin and Bantam Books refuse to go through a holiday season without profiting from ASoIaF despite no new material in over half a decade and no new material on the horizon.
If Kit Harrington hopes to be the Harrison Ford of Game of Thrones in his post-GoT career, he is most definitely off to the wrong start. Mr. Harrington, after being engaged to marry below his star level, has admitted to crying upon reading the scripts for the Final Episodes of Game of Thrones. Jon Snow doesn’t cry, Mr. Harrington. And if he feels tears coming on, he flees from The Great Hall so that nobody can see him cry.
Remember! Remember the 5th of November!
RE:Kit Harrington– the star of GoT is set to produce and star in Gunpowder. The 3 part mini-series will air on HBO and tells the tale of a failed assassination attempt on England’s King James I. Harrington will play Robert Catesby, a Catholic political activist that led the plot to detonate a mountain of explosives underneath The House of Lourdes while the King was in attendance. The guy from Downton Abbey that ISN’T in FX’sLegion will play Guy Fawkes– the most famous member of the conspiracy and the inspiration for the stupid masks that Anonymous wears when they make videos about hacking idiot politicians and corporate C.E.O.s.
Mr. Harrington even sounds like an experienced producer in his quote.
No matter what happens with Kit Harrington’s career post-GoT, it seems he will always have a home and find work with HBO.
Even more Kit Harrington news!
Sophie Turner refuses to be out-shined by Mr. Harrington’s engagement to Rose Leslie and gets engaged herself to Joe Jonas, the American pop music star. The Royal coin is betting on a marriage that ends less than a year from the moment of nuptials.
Plenty of attempts at spoiling the production of the Final Episodes of Game of Thrones but The Promised Princes will not be decreeing photos taken of sets and filming.
Therein layeth thine Royal Decree for November of 2017. Readeth thine words and let thy mind receiveth an education in the inner-workings of the Realm.
– The Wardens of Long Island
The Watchers on The Couch
The Lords of Chit-Chat
The Princes That Were Promised